8 Things I Learned This Year, Posted For 12/26/09

A video explanation of 8 life lessons that I have personally learned over the past 12 Month, for the week ending 12/26/09:

1: THERE IS A REASON TO KEEP DOING WHAT I AM DOING – There are few things more frustrating that being stuck with busy work. Doing something just because is a useless waste of time. Now, make that something you’re doing something you want to do—for example, I want to do more work in the field of personal development and helping others help themselves—and put it out to the world, then have no one respond, and its more than just frustrating busy work. It’s like having frustrating dreams being shattered on a constant basis.

But thanks to a few friends who keep asking me for more stuff and then losing it, asking for my advice and then not taking, and my loving wife who figures at least it’s cheaper that drugs, I have a reason to keep doing this. All kidding aside, it’s because I’m getting better at this, and people are starting to respond favorably. And I am coming to terms with the true level of success that people have in this business, which is pretty slim. I will still have to have some sort of ‘real’ job to make sure I still get to eat more that Ramen, but I can see a difference being made, and actually enjoy the grind of trying to make it all happen.

2: WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU LEAVES YOU WEAK AND VULNERABLE – I had no problem dealing with the downside of this current economy year effecting my paycheck for my day job or the extra hours at the day job for less pay effecting my writing and chance to grow my side job. The frustration of watching other people given the continued chance to thrive, and then watching them continue to flounder without consequence was hard, but manageable. But one thing really shot me down like never before, and it has been hell getting back.

After 5 years of marriage and negotiation that make this current health care reform debate look more like a high school booster club raffle, my wife decide we should go ahead, despite our busy schedules and try to have a baby. The baby should have celebrated its first Christmas at about 8 weeks old. My wife lost the baby about 4 months into her pregnancy, and then spent 3 more months with weird complications. Going through all that pain and not having a baby was tough for her, and extremely tough for me. My wife is fine now, thank to a lot of love and support. I’m not so fine, and as the New Year gets closer, have never been so ready for the past to be behind me, but having no idea where to go from here.

3: ONCE YOU GET PAST WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, YOU CAN GET BACK ON TRACK – I won’t say that dealing with my wife’s miscarriage by any means made me stronger. I did gain an extra appreciation for my wife herself, and am becoming a better husband for it—even if I would have probably gain the same appreciation just for reaching 5 years of marriage. But I have learned that every crisis will eventual end, and when they do, it’s up to you to evaluate where you are and what needs to be done to get you back to some sense of accomplishment.

4: EVERYTHING IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE – You don’t have to be in the classroom to get schooled regularly. Every moment is a chance to learn and grow. Sour moments are especially good teachers, if you don’t allow yourself to get too caught up in your own bitterness.

5: YOU CAN’T DO THIS ‘LIFE’ THING ON YOUR OWN – I’ve never been very good at collecting friends. I am extremely shy when dealing with my personal life, and just don’t have the skill set necessary. But I am great with working with people, and great at picking up on the talents that they have. And I know exactly where the ends of my talents lie, and when I need to call in a co-worker or friend to help me.

6: YOU CAN RESTART AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE – You probably have noticed that I was able to get two of these “8 Things I Learned This Week” videos out before production was, shall we say, put on ‘hiatus.’ I challenged myself to see how many days it would take me to walk 1000 miles, and I wasn’t even able to log 100 in two months before it stalled. Yes, I am a habitual starter, but I am also a habitual restarter, which has turned me into a fairly consistent—although delayed—finisher. And the finish is what really matters. The restarts just make the story you tell when you finally finish that much more interesting.

7: ALWAYS BE PREPARED – You never know what you will see when you turn one of life’s corners. Your next opportunity or struggle (or both) could be waiting there for you. Be prepared for whatever you find.

8: MAKE SURE THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT KNOW YOU CARE – Here locally, early evening on Christmas Eve, a man was shot and killed in a robbery attempt. Our crime is not at a level where something like this is expected, but to make the scenario bizarre, the man was a Salvation Army Major, shot outside the Salvation Army office where his wife was inside working, and was shot in front of his children he was taking inside to see their mother. As I record this it is 2 days after Christmas Day and a month after Thanksgiving, looking 4 days head to a new year, and a new decade. Do not wait until then next holiday season to make sure the ones you care about know how much you care. And don’t let them tease you for being mushy.