8 Things I Learned This Week For 1/9/2010

8 life lessons that I have personally learned over the past 7 days, for the week ending 1/9/2010:

1: I’M AN IDIOT – With a 14 year old step son, I am starting to get a serious dose of the same medicine that I was dishing out to my dad 20 years ago. And it’s a bitter medication.

2: I KNOW MORE THAN I KNOW – Even if my kid doesn’t think I know anything, I am learning day by day just how wrong he is, and just how wrong my I was about my own dad way back when. The answers to questions you don’t even know will be asked are just ready to come at the right moment.

3: EVERYONE HAS TO FACE A MOMENT OF DOUBT – Two weeks into this new year I am in a very different position than I was in this time last year. A very hard place. But I’m not the first person faced with insurmountable odds, and wouldn’t be the first person to fail or succeed in actually getting past them. Hearing some stories of some very famous people and how they had to overcome so times of trouble is helping.

4: MANY OF THOSE PEOPLE DO FIND A WAY THROUGH . . . BUT NOT ALL – And in some of those stories, there were a few failures that didn’t quite make it to a great finish. That is a little troubling, knowing that I might not actually make it. But I can’t give up. I am far from finished.

5: THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY – I know that last week I was talking about having enough time to get done what you deem important to get done, and if watching 3 hours of prime time television is more important than reading, you always find time for television and never find time for reading. Well, I don’t have enough time for reading. Or television. Or writing. There is just not enough waking, conscience, coherent, and creative time in the day to get everything done. That means a lot of sacrifices that I am not too thrilled about.

6: “2010 IS THE YEAR” IS OFF TO A GREAT START – That’s the goals program I have created to help people get a handle on where they are right now, and how to get to where they want to be. Check it out by following this link: http://parkedplaces.com/youalreadyhavetheanswers/2010istheyear.pdf

7: YOU MIGHT NEED SOME HELP – If a little more guidance is what you need to get you 2010 in gear, I’m offering up the services of three of my personal coaches. Each has their own perspective on things, so at least one of them have to fit what you’re looking for. Check the websites and teaching of JB Glossenger at http://morningcoach.com, Scott Smith at http://motivationtomove.com, and/or Devlyn Steele at http://toolstolife.com.

8: THIS WAS THE HARDEST LIST TO PUT OUT TO DATE – Because I made the time and put forth the effort to do it when it was the very last thing I wanted to have to do today. But I came up with this concept, figure it would do some good, so I had to man up and get it done. And it is now done.

8 Things To Help You Manage Stress

Simplify your life as much as possible

Plan as far ahead as you can

Delegate things that others could be doing

Learn to live without whatever you are missing

Get plenty of exercise

Take up meditation

Keep a stress journal

Talk about your stress issues with a friend

8 Things To Help You Keep Your Finances In Order

Get paid what you’re worth

Stick to a budget that spends less than you earn

Pay off credit card debt

Contribute to a retirement plan

Have a savings plan

Maximize your employment benefits

Review your insurance coverages

Keep good records

8 Things To Help Cut Calories

Limit salad toppings.

Kick the soda habit.

Count your chips and crackers.

Skip, or at least limit, the whip cream.

Get enough sleep.

Don’t eat in front of the TV.

Eat the actual suggested servings for your dishes.

Eat off of smaller plates.

8 Things To Help You Battle Perfectionism

Replace your habitual negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Write down a list and carry them with you if necessary.

Set realistic time frames for the achievement of goals, and learn to be flexible with those deadlines.

Practice more patience and prioritization, and learn to live with the reality that you won’t get everything done today.

Stop being such a harsh critic of yourself and your work.

Spend more time with sensible friends and associates to help you keep your vision in perspective.

Accept yourself for the way you actually are and stop being a slave to an idea of how you should be.

Learn to stop taking yourself so seriously and laugh at yourself.

Remember that you are only human. Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes that you are bound to make.

8 Things To Help You Reach Your Physical Fitness Goals

Only the combination of proper diet and proper intensity exercise will help you achieve your fitness goals. Limit obvious ‘bad’ things such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats, and look for lower fat versions to substitute for your normal snacks and sauces. And keep a food diary of everything you eat. That might scare you straight to the salad bar.

Proper intensity exercise will ensure that your body actually gets something from the activity. Too little intensity is simply a waste of your time, and too much intensity will get you injured, and will severely delay you from reaching your goals. Your workouts should require you put forth enough effort to feel it, but your body uses pain pretty effectively as a trigger that you are overdoing it.

Supervised workouts improve results, period. Look for an affordable personal trainer, or find a workout partner who will be able to keep you on pace and accountable to your fitness goals.

Make it a daily challenge to find ways to move your body beyond your workouts. Actions as simple as taking the stairs instead of the escalators or elevators, or parking at the far end of the parking lot can easily add in more cardio without more burn.

Giving up on some long standing vices will help your overall health on their own, and will defiantly give you a boost to improved physical fitness. Taking on a new fitness goal is the perfect time to also try to quit smoking and excessive drinking, as those activities are already making it harder for you physically.

Even thought better fitness will lead to less stress in your life, the pressures you’ll be putting your body through to get in better shape, along with the normal pressures you are already putting up with at work and at home may throw you off balance and keep you from sticking with your program. Schedule time for things you find relaxing to help keep your stress levels down until your improved fitness level kicks in to help.

Water should become your best friend now that you are working on your fitness goals. Hydration is a key to being able to exercise with the proper intensity and to stay mental sharp all day long. You don’t have to live by the old rule of ‘8 glasses a day,’ but you should get in as much pure H2O in a day as possible.

Just as life is marathon, your path to better fitness should take the ‘slow and steady’ pace of the tortoise instead of the hare. You didn’t get out of shape in a week’s time, and you’re not going to get back into shape that quickly either.

8 Things I Learned This Week For 1/2/2010

8 life lessons that I have personally learned over the past 7 days, for the week ending 1/2/2010:

1: THE SAINTS WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO BREAK YOUR HEART – Early in the season, the New Orleans Saints were on pace to hit a perfect regular season and looked like a lock for a true storybook happy ending with a win in this year’s Super Bowl, and I was destined to spend a whole lot of money I don’t have on a Super Bowl party because of it. 30 minutes ago, at least as of the time I am writing this, the Saints found a way to lose their third game in a row, ending the season 13-3, and going into the bye week they earned for the first week of the playoffs not resting the weary players with everyone on the same winning page, but in a state of panic. Because nothing is working, and the team is faced with ‘do or die.’ Obviously, living vicariously through your favorite sports team is a danger that you have to take at your own risk.

2: YOU ARE NOT PROMISED ANYTHING – Just like the Saints had to actually live up to their year of destiny before they could actually officially claim it, we are not promised anything in our lives, including getting the chance to see another day. Based on that fact, living three days into the year 2010 is a pretty big accomplishment. Learn not to take the minor victories in life and living for granted, because they lead to the major ones you hope are on their way.

3: THERE IS ENOUGH TIME FOR WHATEVER YOU REALLY WANT TO DO – There are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to get done, but there is plenty of time to get in everything that is actually important to you. People will make time for what they want to do . . . including things that won’t get you any closer to achieving your objective, but are ‘fun.’ You might want to rethink how much time you spend goofing off if you are not getting enough work done.

4: THE TIME YOU SPEND WASTING ISN’T EXACTLY WASTED TIME – This actually comes from a list I called my original ‘Rules Of Life’ that I created over a decade ago. And yes, it does contradict Thing Number 3 for this week. But the time I wasted over the past week was far from wasted time for me . . . it was some sorely needed downtime away from my overactive brain. The luck of banking a little goodwill with my co-workers allowed me to break away from the job early for a few days, and giving me a sort of shock treatment of vacation. If you don’t know how to take some time off and not do anything of consequence, you need to learn.

5: YOU ARE NOT ALONE – At the risk sounding like a broken record, 2009 wasn’t exactly a stellar year for me personally. It wasn’t exactly a stellar year for a lot of people. So guess what? Why don’t we get together and make this next year a little better? Yeah, this is more of a pandering for me, but I could really use the help. If you’re taking the time to watch this video, take a moment to rate and comment, especially if it could use a little work getting closer to prime time ready.

6: YOU CAN FIRE CLIENTS – You can learn to say no, and you can learn to say no to what looks like good money, especially when deep in your heart you know it’s not. Even if you think you might be a little short on cash flow temporality, firing your worrisome and trouble clients will free up time for that next big thing that’s coming your way. Or even better, use you attempt to fire your clients as a way to get a little more cash out of them. And I have quite a list of trouble clients that I need to go through.

7: SOMETIMES, FINDING EIGHT THINGS I ACTUALLY LEARNED IN A WEEK IS HARD – Like, this week, where I took advantage of a good bit of down time (see Item 4) on a particularly slow week, there weren’t a lot of very interesting things to list. There were plenty of standard, mundane, and obvious things that I don’t actually learn every week but get constantly reinforced (I need to read more, I buy too many books, Kroger is the best store ever, etc.). As we shoot for 52 straight weeks of this for the year 2010 . . . we know it’s going to be a challenge. And by we, I mean just me.

8: THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS ARE FULL OF OPPORTUNITY – Although you truly have the power to restart anytime, there is a sense of magic that comes with the thought of resolving to do better at the beginning of the year. The world gives you a chance to reset your life and start fresh, and you should take advantage of it. And this is where my sales pitch begins . . .
I’ve worked up a new program to help you get your year in gear, calling it “2010 Is The Year.” Yeah, I know. Not very flashy. But I think it may help you if you give it a chance.

You can find the outline for the program here: http://parkedplaces.com/youalreadyhavetheanswers/2010istheyear.pdf

Top 8 Resolutions Made For 2009

Quit Smoking

Lose Weight

Eat Healthier

Exercise More

Take Time for Family

Return to School

Stick to a Budget

Change Jobs

8 Things I Learned This Year, Posted For 12/26/09

A video explanation of 8 life lessons that I have personally learned over the past 12 Month, for the week ending 12/26/09:

1: THERE IS A REASON TO KEEP DOING WHAT I AM DOING – There are few things more frustrating that being stuck with busy work. Doing something just because is a useless waste of time. Now, make that something you’re doing something you want to do—for example, I want to do more work in the field of personal development and helping others help themselves—and put it out to the world, then have no one respond, and its more than just frustrating busy work. It’s like having frustrating dreams being shattered on a constant basis.

But thanks to a few friends who keep asking me for more stuff and then losing it, asking for my advice and then not taking, and my loving wife who figures at least it’s cheaper that drugs, I have a reason to keep doing this. All kidding aside, it’s because I’m getting better at this, and people are starting to respond favorably. And I am coming to terms with the true level of success that people have in this business, which is pretty slim. I will still have to have some sort of ‘real’ job to make sure I still get to eat more that Ramen, but I can see a difference being made, and actually enjoy the grind of trying to make it all happen.

2: WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU LEAVES YOU WEAK AND VULNERABLE – I had no problem dealing with the downside of this current economy year effecting my paycheck for my day job or the extra hours at the day job for less pay effecting my writing and chance to grow my side job. The frustration of watching other people given the continued chance to thrive, and then watching them continue to flounder without consequence was hard, but manageable. But one thing really shot me down like never before, and it has been hell getting back.

After 5 years of marriage and negotiation that make this current health care reform debate look more like a high school booster club raffle, my wife decide we should go ahead, despite our busy schedules and try to have a baby. The baby should have celebrated its first Christmas at about 8 weeks old. My wife lost the baby about 4 months into her pregnancy, and then spent 3 more months with weird complications. Going through all that pain and not having a baby was tough for her, and extremely tough for me. My wife is fine now, thank to a lot of love and support. I’m not so fine, and as the New Year gets closer, have never been so ready for the past to be behind me, but having no idea where to go from here.

3: ONCE YOU GET PAST WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, YOU CAN GET BACK ON TRACK – I won’t say that dealing with my wife’s miscarriage by any means made me stronger. I did gain an extra appreciation for my wife herself, and am becoming a better husband for it—even if I would have probably gain the same appreciation just for reaching 5 years of marriage. But I have learned that every crisis will eventual end, and when they do, it’s up to you to evaluate where you are and what needs to be done to get you back to some sense of accomplishment.

4: EVERYTHING IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE – You don’t have to be in the classroom to get schooled regularly. Every moment is a chance to learn and grow. Sour moments are especially good teachers, if you don’t allow yourself to get too caught up in your own bitterness.

5: YOU CAN’T DO THIS ‘LIFE’ THING ON YOUR OWN – I’ve never been very good at collecting friends. I am extremely shy when dealing with my personal life, and just don’t have the skill set necessary. But I am great with working with people, and great at picking up on the talents that they have. And I know exactly where the ends of my talents lie, and when I need to call in a co-worker or friend to help me.

6: YOU CAN RESTART AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE – You probably have noticed that I was able to get two of these “8 Things I Learned This Week” videos out before production was, shall we say, put on ‘hiatus.’ I challenged myself to see how many days it would take me to walk 1000 miles, and I wasn’t even able to log 100 in two months before it stalled. Yes, I am a habitual starter, but I am also a habitual restarter, which has turned me into a fairly consistent—although delayed—finisher. And the finish is what really matters. The restarts just make the story you tell when you finally finish that much more interesting.

7: ALWAYS BE PREPARED – You never know what you will see when you turn one of life’s corners. Your next opportunity or struggle (or both) could be waiting there for you. Be prepared for whatever you find.

8: MAKE SURE THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT KNOW YOU CARE – Here locally, early evening on Christmas Eve, a man was shot and killed in a robbery attempt. Our crime is not at a level where something like this is expected, but to make the scenario bizarre, the man was a Salvation Army Major, shot outside the Salvation Army office where his wife was inside working, and was shot in front of his children he was taking inside to see their mother. As I record this it is 2 days after Christmas Day and a month after Thanksgiving, looking 4 days head to a new year, and a new decade. Do not wait until then next holiday season to make sure the ones you care about know how much you care. And don’t let them tease you for being mushy.

8 Things I Learned This Week For 11/28/09

8 life lessons that I have personally learned over the past 7 days, for the week ending 11/28/09:

1: HOLDING IN YOUR FEELINGS COULD BE KILLING YOU . . . LITERALLY – A new Swedish study (found here) shows that men who bottle up their anger at being unfairly treated at work are up to five times more likely to suffer a heart attack, or even die from one, than those who let their frustration show. The study by the Stress Research Institute of Stockholm University followed 2,755 employed men who had not suffered any heart attacks from 1992 to 2003. At the end of the study, 47 participants had either suffered an attack, or died from heart disease, and many of those had been found to be “covertly coping” with unfair treatment at work. Covert coping was listed as “letting thing pass without saying anything” and “going away” despite feelings of being done wrong by colleagues or bosses.

2: ALWAYS TRY TO LEARN NEW THINGS – Without turning life lessons into a closing scene with Kyle and Stan from South Park, you should always try to learn new things. There should be plenty of thing coming at you throughout your day to learn from, but if there is not, or there is not a learning experience that’s giving you enough of a challenge, seek out something new to learn. You’ve probably been in need of a new hobby anyway.

3: WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING NEW, AND WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY HAVE LEARNED – You don’t always know what you know. That’s why you file things away. Don’t believe me? Can you at this very moment recite verbatim every skill you possess from every job that you have held? That why you write a resume, and revise it often to keep it relevant to want you need to know now, not what you needed to know way back when. Keeping a log of what you are learning and what you have previously learned could save your sanity if you are a workaholic data freak like I happen to be.

4. TAKE STOCK IN MEMORIES – Remember to cherish your memories. Especially the ones that are trigger out of the blue. Be grateful for memories in the making, and do not be so afraid of cameras. Those cameras are capturing images that will help you reform those memories years down the road. Helping my parents with a project of converting old VHS home movies to DVD took me back 20 years to being a teenager that wasn’t all that fond of spending time in front of my parents while they narrated my life on camera, and allowed me to see footage of me and my younger sister in happy situations I had long forgotten. And with my sister having past almost 6 years ago, my parents have a way to reintroduce my niece and nephew to their mother, as they were to young to remember much about her.

5: YOUR SUPPORTERS WILL TURN ON YOU IF YOU GIVE THEM THE RIGHT INCENTIVE – The story of Tiger Woods crashing his SUV is growing by leaps and bounds. Now mixed in with stories of infidelity and spouses “going ghetto” and lashing out, it has becomes a gossip column’s dream, especially for a guy who is notorious for not letting anyone in on what is going on in his life. And a small back lash is growing as Tiger refuses to talk about the incident . . . even to authorities. A few weeks ago, he threw a club into a gallery and hit some guy, gave a pretty lame apology, and the press that had done its best to work around Tiger and his ‘famous bad temper’ was beginning to question the price of giving him a pass for admission into his tent . . . where he gave as little information as he chose to. Those who gave him the most leeway are now looking at him with the most contempt.
6: YOUR SUPPORTERS DON’T HAVE TO TURN ON YOU IF YOU CAN HELP IT – Taking it from televangelist and Kobe Bryant, you can regain your public support just as quickly as you ruined it if you play your cards right. Come out with the truth early and play all the sympathy cards you can get your hands on. And let the people forgive you. Then keep on winning so they forget you ever had your little digression.

7. SAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT – A few days ago in the United States we celebrated Thanksgiving, a holiday that is supposed to be a remembrance of the Pilgrims surviving there first year in the New World, but is pretty much all about eating turkey for two weeks and getting ready for Christmas shopping. But even with all the fixin’s in front of you, always remember to leave room for some dessert. You won’t regret it.

8: TAKE TIME TO GIVE THANKS EVERYDAY – We put a lot of emphasis starting with Thanksgiving on the act of actually giving thanks for what we have. In the last year, we’ve seen a lot of losses and people, and I’ve been through a lot of personal losses. But I always find a way to give thanks for what I do have . . . family, friends, opportunities . . . even as I face more troubling times on the way. The only way to get better is to give thanks for what you already have. You can’t gain more until you learn to appreciate what you’ve already got.